Experimenting with all the Wrong People
by ChaoticInsaneDreams
Summary: Merlin is roped into the insane whims of the nobles. Will he keep his head when confronted with the diabolical Lady Morgana, or he will be thrown into the stocks once again? Merthur, rated T for Morgana being crude.


A/N - First real attempt at fic so...take it easy on me :P I'm gonna go ahead and dedicate this to my bestest friend ever, bleedforyou (go check her out if you like Merthur/Drarry), without her, I would still be content with keeping stories bouncing around in my head.

Experimenting With All the Wrong People

It was an exceptionally hot and dry summer in Camelot, a fact that Merlin was well aware of as he approached the door to Lady Morgana's chambers, trying in vain to stay in the shallow shadows that bravely fought against the afternoon sun. He looked around the hallway quickly before turning his attention back on the door in front of him. A brief flash of gold later, the lock clicked free and he swiftly entered the chambers, softly clicking the door closed behind him. He wasted no time and headed straight to the large cabinet and began digging through the multitudes of dresses. Merlin was almost positive that he would not live to see the sun set today. How Arthur had talked him into sneaking into the Lady Morgana's room to steal her favorite evening gown, he would never know. Well, that's not exactly the truth. He knew _exactly_ how his royal pratness had persuaded him into doing something so dreadfully dangerous.

"_**Mer**lin! I could order you. I am trying to be a tad bit nicer here and you go about ruining everything by refusing!" Merlin rolled his eyes in exasperation as Arthur continued to rant over breakfast while Merlin rushed through his chores. Merlin stopped what he was doing to stare at Arthur, before grinning cheekily. "Tell me again Arthur, why it is so important that you have Lady Morgana's dress? I never believed you to be one who would take such a...fancy to women's clothing" _

_Arthur scowled at this and Merlin could not help the laugh that escaped him. Arthur went back to eating, arrogant smirk back in place. A few moments of silence passed, Arthur no doubt revising his argument to bring Merlin into the prank, and Merlin himself going about his chores. Merlin finished smoothing out the bed sheets and went to stand by the dining table as Arthur finished eating, mentally hoping the prat wouldn't make him clean his armor again today; he sometimes wondered if maybe Arthur had taken a few too many blows to the head with how vain he was about his armor. _

_After finishing all the food on his plate, Arthur leaned back slightly in his chair, studying Merlin in silence. Merlin shifted uncomfortably at the intense attention for nothing good ever came of Arthur paying attention to him. "Merlin, why are you so resistant for once? You will fight tooth and nail to come with me on all the various adventures we have, and yet you want no part of a harmless prank on Morgana? You know I have to get her back for the fat comment at dinner last night!" _

_And _that_ is when it happened. The mask of the arrogant prince fell away, and in__its place was the sensitive and real Arthur. The Arthur who cocked his head to the side at__just the right angle that the wide open window behind him cast his face in partial shadow, eyes showing hurt that Merlin was refusing him. This wasn't the prince angry at his servant, it was Arthur upset with Merlin. Merlin sighed, he never could really say no to Arthur, no matter how many times he was thrown in the stocks. _

"_I want a day off," Merlin said, refusing to meet Arthur's eyes so he would not have to see the rush of victory in his eyes or see the mask of the prat slide back into place. "You will get a day off in the stocks if you are caught," Arthur retorted before standing up and heading to the door. Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur's back before following him down the hallway. _

"_Prat."_

"_Idiot."_

"_Clotpole."_

"_...Really Merlin, you need to stop making up words."_

"_Maybe you just need to read more so you can realize I am not, in fact making up words."_

"_Shut up Merlin. Now go quickly to Morgana's chambers, I will distract her for as long as possible. If you are found in there, I will deny all participation." _

Arthur had been very specific on which dress Merlin was supposed to take and he couldn't find it _anywhere_. As he carefully rummaged through the cabinet, he had a sinking feeling his mission was going to be unsuccessful. As if his thoughts had betrayed him, Merlin heard a key slide into the lock and begin to turn. He leaped behind the dressing screen before realizing Morgana would probably head there. Tripping slightly, he switched directions and dived behind the floor length curtains that fell to either side of the open window. The door began to open and with a quick flash of gold, the cabinet rearranged itself to be in perfect order as Morgana and a bustling Gwen entered the room. Gwen went over to the fire and began to build it up, and Morgana looked straight to the curtains where Merlin hid, his breath catching as he stayed as still as possible. _She couldn't possibly know I was here... could she?_

Morgana stared for a moment, face impassive before turning back around and heading behind the dressing screen. "Gwen, could you go heat me some water? I wish to bathe before the evening meal," Morgana called out from behind the screen. Merlin breathed out a deep sigh of relief; she hadn't seen him, maybe he could sneak out once Gwen left...

Gwen had left the chambers and Merlin was just reaching out to pull back the curtain and make a run for it when Morgana stepped out from behind the screen. The sight he was met with stole all the breath from his body and kept him paralyzed in place.

Merlin supposed he could call the sheer white cloth that hugged Morgana's figure a sleeping gown, but he doubted that was the purpose it was made for. It really would be more accurate to call it a shagging gown. A teasing gown, or maybe even a torture device. Merlin's eyes were glued to her as she walked, no, _sashayed_ to her vanity and sat down gracefully before throwing her head over her shoulder and staring straight at him, head tilted slightly and a faint smirk.

"Why Merlin, I had no idea you were the type of man to steal into bed chambers." Merlin could feel his face heat up instantly, both at Morgana's state of dress and her words.

"Merlin," Morgana called tauntingly. "If you are here to seduce me into giving you my virtue, you are going about it all wrong. Are you going to hide behind the curtain all day, or actually come out here and woo me?"

Merlin tried to dispel the flush of his cheeks before gathering his courage and tentatively stepping out from behind the curtain, staying far away from Morgana and trying in vain to keep his gaze cast downward. He was so busy trying not to look at her, that he did not notice her stand and glide across the room until she was in front of him. _Too close, keep your eyes down! _His brain screamed at him, except down was no longer a safe direction as Morgana was so close that she filled his vision. He glanced up and met her eyes that were sparkling with humor.

"I didn't know you desired the flesh of a woman, Merlin," she said softly, a hint of that blasted smirk in her voice.

"Neither did I," he blurted out without thinking, not realizing what he had said until Morgana threw her head back with a laugh.

"Oh Merlin, you are so ambitious aren't you? Curious about women so you go to the King's own Ward. He would have your head if he knew you wanted to have your wicked way with me."

Merlin spluttered in shock, nearly falling backwards before he looked at Morgana who was trying not to laugh. He glared slightly, crossing his arms over his chest protectively and standing up straight, though the effect was probably ruined slightly by his still flush cheeks. "Oh you think its funny do you? If you have to know, I'm only here because Arthur wants to get back at you for what you said last night. And since apparently knowing about my magic wasn't enough for you, you know I didn't come here for... that!"

Morgana was taking far too much humor from this situation for Merlin's liking, especially considering she was still showing _far_ too much skin. "Now now, sweet naive Merlin, just because I know you prefer a squire to a lady does not mean you cannot experiment a little." Merlin felt the heat in his cheeks travel to the tips of his ears. If he knew the proper spell he would open a hole in the ground right this instant just to get away from Morgana; Arthur was right, she was quite diabolical.

"Morgana I wasn't there for any of that. Like I said, I was just here to get 'revenge' on you for Arthur. Since you caught me, I would be forever grateful if you didn't mention this to anyone. I'm pretty sure Uther would have my head for hiding in a Lady's chambers."

"Which head are you worried about Merlin?" Morgana asked cheekily, taking another step closer to him.

Merlin rolled his eyes, taking a step back as well to keep distance between them. "Really Morgana, there is no reason to be immature now, I think you know exactly which head I'm worried about. That would be the one that keeps me alive! Sometimes I wish I hadn't told you about my magic, then I wouldn't be in this mortifying situation!"

Morgana took a step back at this, obviously hurt and Merlin groaned in frustration. "Morgana...you know I didn't mean it like that! I was just kidding!" She ducked her head down, but not before Merlin saw her eyes shining with unshed tears and internally sighed. Wars had been fought over lesser things, and honestly, not even the strongest of men could resist the Lady Morgana. Merlin knew he was going to have to step up his game to get out of this situation, the last time he had upset her, he had spent a week sleeping in the stables since he was too scared to go to his room. " 'Gana...I'm sorry upset you, you know I'll do anything to make it better so help a guy out here," he pleaded, pushing aside his awkwardness and taking a step forward, clasping her hand in his.

Merlin was startled when Morgana brought her head up quickly with a brilliant smile before realizing he had been played. Stupid women with their wily tricks. Morgana clapped her hands together and moved off to behind her screen, thankfully putting on a proper dress and putting Merlin out of his misery. "I think you'll be very pleased with my plan Merlin," she called out from behind the screen," I think it will be mutually beneficial. I get to further humiliate Arthur, and you get the attentions of your Prince." Morgana walked back out and Merlin gulped; that dress was if anything more revealing than her under garments! He quickly turned around and tried to subtly adjust himself while feigning interest in the numerous bottles on her bedside table. The slight giggle behind him told Merlin he was not as sneaky as he thought. "Merlin, I may get a chance with you yet," Morgana said with a laugh," I don't mind sharing."

"Morgana," Merlin said sternly,"A man would have to be blind to be unaffected by your state of dress. I mean come on, you're not considered the most beautiful woman in the kingdom for your intelligence." Immediately, Merlin slapped his hand onto his face quite violently. "I didn't mean it like I just meant you're amazingly beautiful! And of course I know you are absolutely brilliant, but I just meant-" Thankfully at this point, Gwen walked in carrying buckets of water to be heated at the fire.

"Gwen! Excellent you're here! I need you to help with the plan I have made up to get Merlin noticed by Arthur!" Gwen looked pitifully at the heavy buckets she had just carried up before taking a deep breathe and smiling happily at her mistress.

"Of course my Lady, however I may be off assistance!" she said, with a quick glare at Merlin, as if to say _It's your fault I just wasted a trip to the well and you owe me!_ Merlin grinned uneasily before they began to listen to Morgana's plan.

With a clang, the prison door shut behind the confused guard. Morgana waved happily before hurrying off back to her chambers. Merlin wasn't quite sure how he kept letting the nobles talk him into these insane plots. He shifted slightly, trying not to let the shackles chafe him too much. Morgana had said that Merlin being chained in the dungeons would get Arthur to come and rescue him. This Merlin knew to be true, but he wasn't sure how Arthur dragging him out of the dungeons again was going to get him to reciprocate his affections. With a mental shrug, Merlin gave up; he knew Morgana was sure to think of something. A rat scurried by in front of him, stopping to sit back on its hind legs and look at him. Merlin hoped they finished this business quickly.

Arthur was sure of one thing and one thing only; this meeting was going to be the death of him. His father's council had already been arguing for the past five hours and Arthur was about to tell them to forget about plans for rebuilding the lower town, and then go down to the pub and get utterly sloshed. Just as he opened his mouth to end the meeting, the doors flew open and in rushed Guinevere. Arthur frowned as she hurried up to the table and curtsied quickly, if Merlin had been caught...

"I am sorry for intruding Sire, but the Lady Morgana has requested you in her chambers."

Arthur stood up without a thought and headed for the large wooden doors, completely ignoring the council members. "Finalize plans for the Lower Town and have a summary of them in my chambers by the end of the day." he commanded over his shoulder, Gwen hurrying along behind him.

"Do you know what Morgana wants Guinevere?" Arthur asked briskly, continuing down the hallway at such a pace that Gwen had to nearly run to keep up. Not that Arthur noticed.

"I'm sorry Sire, all milady said was that it had to do with Merlin."

Arthur scowled and turned the corner sharply, seeing Morgana's door at the end of the hall and stomping forward. Of course the moron would get himself caught. He didn't even stop to think of a plan before storming into the room, not bothering to knock. "Where is Merlin, Morgana? What have you done with him this time?"

Morgana seemed to have not heard Arthur's harsh questions and jumped up with a look of pure sorrow on her face. She crossed the room quickly and Arthur braced himself, and was caught off guard when she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. "Oh Arthur, I knew you would help! It is absolutely dreadful what Uther has done to Merlin!"

Arthur tensed at the mention of his father. He had made it clear that he was just looking for an excuse to sack Merlin; if he had found Merlin in Morgana's chambers...

"It started yesterday when he told me he was going to force me to marry within a fortnight! He is such a monster, forcing us into arranged marriages when he himself married for love! I told him I would not let myself be thrown to some old ugly man far away from Camelot. Unfortunately, Merlin was serving us at the time, and after Uther left he asked for my hand! He was so sweet and so serious. He told me if I was to be forced to wed, I should do it on my own terms. Marrying Merlin would certainly show Uther his place and well, I suppose it is better to marry a friend and remain in Camelot than be shipped off to some remote castle."

The entire time Morgana spoke, Arthur paled until he was white as a ghost. He was so shocked he didn't notice Gwen trying, and failing, to stifle her giggles. Arthur shook his head furiously, running a hand through his hair. "You fool Morgana! Our father will never accept Merlin! It will be straight to the chopping block when he finds out!"

Morgana sighed sadly, looking down and fidgeting slightly. "Yes well, I didn't account for that when I told Uther my plans. Uther has him locked away in the dungeons and he said he would keep him there until I agreed to marry someone else!" She looked on the verge of tears but Arthur took no notice of this. "Arthur you just have to help me convince Uther to let me marry Merlin!"

He sat down heavily, not noticing the sly smirk Morgana shot to Gwen over his shoulder. Why did Morgana get Merlin? He was his manservant. It wasn't fair of her to take Merlin away from him. Who would clean his armour? And never wake him up on time, and get yelled at but still be all awkward and witty and _Merlin_. He didn't want to push Merlin and Morgana together because then...Gods help him there would be little black haired _demons_ running around in a few years with too big ears and a penchant for torturing him, and that was simply not acceptable. Arthur stood up suddenly and turned to Morgana. "No, I can't let you take advantage of my manservant Morgana. You will simply have to handle this situation on your own because Merlin is mine. And I don't share." With that, Arthur strode out of the room and off to the dungeons to free _his_ manservant.

Merlin was recounting the number of rats in the dungeons for the umpteenth time when he heard heavy footsteps from around the corner. He shuffled slightly and hoped it was Morgana, this ruse had gone on long enough and _she_ wasn't the one who had spent the day in the dungeons for no reason. The silly woman hadn't even told him what plan he was going along with; she had simply sent him off with a "go wait in the dungeons Merlin! I have everything under control!" Like he hadn't heard that one before.

The footsteps came to the bottom of the stairs and Merlin stiffened slightly. That was no delicate click of the heels Morgana had taken a fancy to wearing, that was closer to the heavy thunk of one royal prat's boots, and he should know, he cleaned them enough to know that _thunk thunk_ anywhere. Arthur finally rounded the corner, looking all princely and irritated and _beautiful_ in the light of the flickering torches. Not that he would ever admit that he looked beautiful; Arthur would probably take it as an insult the great clotpole.

"_Mer_lin, what do you think you are doing in the dungeons?" Arthur began, giving him that infuriating look that made Merlin go crazy and want to do something absolutely reckless.

"I thought it had a nice vibe sire," the sarcasm practically dripping from his voice. Merlin stretched as much as possible and tried to put on the airs of casual boredom. He wasn't fooling anyone.

"Honestly Merlin," Arthur said softly, a hint of emotion flickering across his face for but a moment. "What were you thinking proposing to Morgana like that? I mean really, she's a complete witch, I thought you had better sense than that." Merlin's eyes bugged out of his skull he was sure of it. She said he proposed? He knew most people thought him a bumbling idiot but he even he wouldn't be foolish enough to do something that ridiculous! And yet, it seemed that Morgana's plan was working, for he could see the unasked questions Arthur was too scared to voice, _why not me? Do you really love her enough to propose? Why would you make me share you like that?_

Merlin now faced a problem. He could either deflect like they _always did_ anytime they veered anywhere close to these troubling questions. Or, he could be the brave one, something he found quite ironic in the current situation. Honestly, there wasn't even a choice in the matter, though he may have a little bit of fun first.

"Arthur, its not nice to speak of your sister like that," Merlin said teasingly, taking a slow step closer to the bars that separated them. "As to your second question...I'm tired of you ignoring me," Merlin tried to imitate the puppy dog eyes and pout combination that Morgana tried to teach him earlier, though he felt it came out more like a grimace than anything. "You keep ignoring me," he whined before becoming serious for a moment. "Honestly Arthur, you know I'll always be your manservant, but my heart can't stay sealed away forever, waiting for you to open your prattish eyes to the truth. I'm happy to be your servant until the day that I die Arthur, but Morgana offered me a chance at happiness and its not something I could exactly say no to. Yes, there is a certain happiness in seeing the one you cherish be happy," Merlin paused for a moment, refusing to look at Arthur 'lest he not like what he saw. He had been carrying these emotions for far too long; it was time to make them real, throw them out there and see if they flew or crashed into the earth below. "What I mean to say Arthur, is that while I certainly don't mind pining after you for the rest of my days, marrying Morgana seemed to be the most likely course for happiness. I get to stay by you for the rest of my life, and get some...release," he finished with a grin, trying desperately to add some humor back into the situation.

At this point, Merlin could not avoid Arthur's reaction any longer. Hesitantly, he raised his eyes and saw Arthur looking absolutely...gobsmacked. Merlin waited with baited breath for some reaction, any reaction, but Arthur seemed content to sit there and stare at him like a fish out of water. He became slightly restless and tilted his head to the side to see if Arthur was even _in there_.

"Erm, Arthur? Still with me sire?" Merlin was slightly afraid he had broken the prat. Maybe there was a valid reason they never had these serious emotional conversations...

The use of his title seemed to have some affect on Arthur who jumped with a start, tripping backwards slightly, still with that wide eyed look on his face. He blinked once, twice before whirling around on his heel and stalking up the stairs slightly dazed. That cold sinking feeling had just begun to hurtle its way into Merlin's gut when Arthur reappeared at the foot of the stairs, dragging a confused guard along behind him by the collar of his chain mail.

"Open the gate. Now." _Well, someones certainly chatty today_ Merlin thought nervously as the guard fumbled with freeing him of his shackles. Merlin figured he would be nervous too if he had a very odd Arthur staring him down; oh wait, he _was_ nervous. The shackles fell from his wrists with a clang and Merlin grinned, rotating his wrists to get the stiffness out of them. He watched as the guard nervously inched back out of the cell, muttering a quick "You're free to go" as he went. The poor guard had barely cleared the cell doors when Arthur barked,"Leave us! Now!" Oh yes, very chatty today indeed.

This was beginning to be too much for Merlin, Arthur had shown no emotion except for a very intense rage at the hapless guard; he should probably start running now but he was rooted to the spot by the look Arthur shot him.

Merlin went to open his mouth, to explain that what just happened had all just been an elaborate prank set up by Morgana and hadn't it been funny, when suddenly the air was forcibly removed from his body as Arthur rammed him into the cell wall. He had one brief glimpse at Arthur's face before his lips were smashed against his own, a kiss so searing that Merlin honestly lost track of everything around them. He had never thought he would enjoy the whole dungeon feel, but oh wow, _this was good_. Merlin couldn't say how long Arthur kept him pressed against the darkest dirtiest wall in the castle, and yet he couldn't care less. They finally parted, just as explosive as they had started, Merlin taking violent gasps for air, Arthur still caging him in his arms, tight against the wall, head resting heavily on his shoulder.

"I won't ask you to wait for me forever Merlin," he said softly, voice harsh and filled with pain and lust and dare he believe it, a hint of love. "But I promise you this, things will be different when I am King." Merlin nodded blindly, clutching Arthur's sleeve tightly, refusing to let go. Neither heard the faint squeal in the distance, or the even fainter slap echoing through the halls.

"You don't have to ask me Arthur, I'll wait forever for just this moment."

A small part of Merlin realized he would owe Morgana forever for setting this up. Not that he would remember for quite sometime. He did have a prat to take care of after all.


End file.
